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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Dead and Gone (Sookie # 9)- Charlaine Harris

2016 Edit: I use the word slut in this review, negatively. In the past few years I have changed quite a bit. I try to not judge a woman by how many sexual partners she has had: her body, her business. I also try not to use slut in a negative way . I won't edit the review because it is who I was more than four years ago, but I did want to put in this notation as a warning. I do wish the author had allowed Sookie to embrace her sexual escapades rather than slut shame other women and make Sookie so hypocritical. Thanks.


First off let me start with saying that the interest I had in the plot line for Dead and Gone was almost non existent. I felt that starting a “fairy war” was pretty ridiculous and why even bother to bring them up in the first place if the point was to have them fight (pathetically) and then go back into the fairy lands. And the Weres coming out? Ah moderately interesting but played badly. It was like the author was in a bad case of writers block and loss at what to do with this book type soap opera.

In fact I am not even that interested in writing this review so let’s get it over with.

1) Eric and Sookie being “bound” together with the presentation of the ceremonial knife. I enjoyed this, until Sookie, in her totally normal way, complains and nags about it. She got herself involved with vampires, now she needs to put on her big girl panties and deal with the consequences. Eric is really just trying to protect her.

2) Sams’ mom getting shot- This was an interesting way to do… what exactly? Get him out of the picture for a chapter or two? I guess it was meant to show that people might not be as ok with the two natured coming out like they were with the vampires. Though I thought Arlene’s quitting and lecturing them got that point across better.

3) Pregnant Crystal getting crucified, wow does ANYTHING good happen to anyone in Bon Temps or around Sookie? This little town has had more murders then any I’ve ever been too…. And I come from a small town.

4) In this novel Sookie mentions Amelia is teaching her how to text…. This book was published in 2009. Just another one of those WTF moments.

5) I am tired of Sookie talking about God, that she is trying to be a good Christian, that she hopes God doesn’t notice that she has a lack of appreciation and is a slut. Look chickie, just own it. You believe in God, you generally try to do what is right for you and other people. Ok…You have sex (shush it’s supposed to be a secret!) and you have killed in self defense or defense of others. It is more like Sookie is trying to convince herself she is still a Christian. Sheesh

6) When Sookie kills a bad evil fairy, who would have killed her, she spends like three pages bemoaning this and thinking about it, being depressed. She didn’t spend nearly that kind of time on Debbie Pelt or Lorena… Maybe it was because they were women who had been fucking guys Sookie herself was into? Who knows?

7) Quinn and Bill get into a “whose-penis-is-bigger” contest on Sookie’s porch. They are so absorbed in trying to beat each other up that Sookie get’s hurt in the process again. There is nothing quite like guys who don’t mind hurting you during their macho man time… That sure proves love. Notice Eric, never does that. Huh….

8) I hate to be repetitive, but man, world’s WORSE sex scenes. Eric and Sookie having sex for the first time since Dead to the World should have been awesome, and parts were… Except: “I am to big for some.” “Bring it on” I said.” Yeah cause THIS is what I would say… LOL And then :He was as deep inside me as he could get without an operation. I seriously laughed out loud in the break room at my work after reading this…. Ridiculous.

9) Poor Mel- he got the serious short end of the stick in this book and it was stupid. He was gay and in love with Jason. He slaps Crystal, he is NOT the one who killed her and the baby. Sure he left her in the back of the truck, but she was a nasty bitch, who cares if he smacked her around? (And I DO NOT say that lightly) And for THAT he was torn into bits? This is Sookie’s fault. She called Calvin without getting all the facts. Especially when you find out who really did kill Crystal.

10) Amelia tries to set Sookie up with one of Tray’s friend and then tells her he looks like Jason… Uh who thinks that is a good idea? I know I’d LOVE to do someone who looked like my brother, yuck.

11) Sookie gets kidnapped and beat up…..Again. Barf, Blah, Boring, the three B’s common in this series.

12) Worst torture scene ever. The author doesn’t even totally go into detail about what was done to her, aside from bite marks and such. Plus Sookie is way to coherent for someone being tortured; she totally would have passed out and gone to that place where nothing matters, like what real torture victims describe. The body can only take so much. Plus here we find out her parents were killed by bad fairies. What this really needed? Wow apparently Sookie’s whole life just sucks. This should have just been left alone.

13) Eric is awesome. When Sookie asks him why he wasn’t the one to find her he says, ”You’re killing me, you’re killing me.” I want an Eric of my own. He would have been there but Bill was closer at the time, Bill saw her being kidnapped.

14) This book has one of the lamest battle and bad guy death scenes EVER. All this hype and the leader of the “evil” fairies dies in two paragraphs. Some authors are not meant to write battle or sex scenes, and this is one of them.

15) Claudine dies. AFTER telling Sookie she was going to have a baby. WTF was the point of this shit? I think someone has been reading other retarded authors j.k rowling *cough* who think this sort of thing is ok. I do not enjoy senseless death in my novels, especially if it does not serve ANYTHING to the actually plot line. SHAME!

16) Alright… I know this was pretty negative. But here it is… The only AWESOME thing in the whole books, ah hem “Clancy lives on in Bill,” Eric told the other two. They received this news in a silence that seemed respectful to me. “As you live on in Sookie,” Pam said very quietly. Very cool wording, powerful even.

Yeah so… This will be the first of these novels I give a one star to. I was happy….when it was over

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Top Ten Tuesday! -Top Beach Reads!

This is a meme hosted by Broke and Bookish. This week we are exploring the Tope Ten Beach Reads. Now, once again, I don't read a lot of books that have the beach in them....So I am hoping that the Top Ten Beach Reads, means books you could take to the beach. Many of these are just fluffy romance novels that are perfect for a day of lazy sun swallowing.

Dark Lover (Black Dagger Brotherhood # 1) J.R. Ward- Just a good ole fashioned vampire romance with some interesting new twist, a decent enough plot and some hot sex.

The Willow File by Lori Herter- About a hotel on a beach being haunted by a ghost, another simple paranormal romance.

The Secrets of Sebastian Beaumont by Carrie Peterson- A woman goes to see her estranged grandmother who runs a plantation and winds up in a marriage of convenience with the plantation's manager.

What Waits Below Jane Toombs- A woman returns to her ancestral home only to find out that there is a monster living in the lake near the house. She falls in love with the grounds keeper, whose twin was killed an eaten by the monster several months earlier.

Sleeping With the Fishes Mary Janice Davidson- a romance novel about a mermaid who was raised by mortals. Has all that great MJD humor in it.

Trust Me Charlotte Moore- about a woman who is trying to renovate a mortuary into a homeless shelter but something nasty is haunting it. Good thing there is a really hot cop living next door!

Monstrous Beauty Elizabeth Fama- this was such a dark and haunting mermaid tale. Probably better for a storm day at the beach but a good read!

Walk of Spirits Richie Cusick- About a girl who has to move into her grandfather’s house with her mom and starts seeing and hearing ghosts. Take place in Louisiana.

Y is for Yorrick Jennifer Adams- A Shakespearean ABC book for grown ups. Very funny and easy to read through.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone J.K Rowling- What can I say the first four of these books were amazing and I can quickly read through them without pause. Perfect for a day at the beach.

Happy Reading!